Recently I spent a bit of time walking around my new home. As usual I was myself, shaking everybody's hands, even hugging some females when I left their homes, just because they treated me so well. There were huge smiles on the women's faces when I left. On some level I'm pushing the limits. On the following morning one of my colleagues told me that there was some negative talk about what I had done. He said it was ok to shake young girl's (up to 12 or so) hands but after that no touching.
During the afternoon I was talking to a young female colleague and a man who I know came into my office, ignored the fact that I was chatting and started talking to me, essentially ignoring the colleague. Although I didn't say anything I was thinking about the lives of women and how on a number of levels, women and females as a whole are treated as second class citizens.
I know that gender issues are huge, even in my birth country. However, I don't know what to think when I meet a 15 year old girl who is married and pregnant, losing her right to a decent education or a seven year old girl who has been raped.
I understand that in a small rural village there are huge differences between men and women. I see this when women initially cover themselves when I come to buy vegetables at their blanket in the local market. However after a little bit of time they become more relaxed and smile.
My feeling is that men in the area where I stay are quite threatened, that through years of seeing their grandmothers, mothers and sisters treated as second class they continue this tradition. I know that it's not every man, but societal pressure to conform must be huge.
I think that taking things slower and being more subtle about modeling the same behavior towards men and women is important. There is nothing like human contact, a small hug, but maybe even a smile and looking into someone's eyes and really listening to the person, no matter their gender, caste, ethnicity, etc. that will ultimately make a difference.
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