Am I really that demanding? Is my upbringing really that different from the people whom I work with? Do I expect too much from others? The answer to all of these questions is yes.
I walk into a bank and ask them to please open an account for me; the manager keeps telling me to wait for a few more days. I put out some garbage cans; I expect that the cleaning staff will see these and do something with them, but they don’t. Over one month ago I asked for some medication, nobody seemingly taking responsibility, finally someone finds the medication. I see a child, seven years of age, with large puffy pimples, bites, not sure, on her face. I take her hand and lead her to a doctor. I ask have you ever seen a doctor before, whispering, she answers no. I ask a number of children have you ever been to a dentist, they all answer no. I observe many children with skin problems due to poor hygiene, but I think mostly from lack of decent water. I see men sitting around all day having nothing to do. What have I really learned from living/working five years in India and Nepal?
The US is far from perfect and I’ve worked with people who are reactive, little motivation, just collecting a pay check; expecting others to provide for them. The west does not have a monopoly on performing hard work and being assertive. I watch people planting paddy and I can’t imagine many Americans, except for more recent immigrants, performing this kind of back breaking work. As a friend said to me long ago, “it just isn’t how I am wired”.
Recently a person criticized me for writing, “The work isn’t easy, trying to get others to see and adapt to western ways of focus, discipline, pride, enthusiasm, punctuality and commitment can be very frustrating”. The person’s response being, “Growing up not from the West it rubs me the wrong way that you would try to get others “to see and adapt to Western ways of focus, discipline, pride, enthusiasm, punctuality and commitment.” One, these values are not a monopoly of the West. If you would say ‘yeah, they have these too” still why would you try to make them adapt to Western ways.”
When it comes down to it I know that it is more about how I grew up or more likely the characteristics that have become integrated into my personality. The more I observe reaction as opposed to being proactive, lack of commitment as opposed to commitment, tardiness as opposed to punctuality, uncaring as opposed to caring, etc. I push harder on the, e.g. proactive side.
People are people, some are focused and want to work hard, want to make a difference in the world, others are all about “me” what can I get, or just coasting through life. I wonder what the true influence colonizing countries such as America, France, UK, etc. have had on developing countries and their cultures. Of course countries such as India have maintained their own culture, but one has to wonder what the country would have been like if the British and their caste system had never colonized. Would there still have been dictators all over the world if the west hadn’t wanted more resources? Democracy certainly isn’t for all. Do I as an individual have the “right” to butt in and bring my value system to others? The person above might say you can but why would you?
What I’ve learned is that there are more unanswerable questions than answers. I've learned that a smile and sayng "namaste" to people makes a huge difference in how otheres treat me. I’ve seen and experienced more but I know less. I constantly ask myself, “what am I doing; am I really helping?” Most of the time I think that I am, I see it in small changes, but maybe it’s not about labeling things as being from the west or east, it’s just about humanity and all of us getting to an entirely different level of being.
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